Titus
Loebloe from the practice
Loebloe,
Shalloe and Sharpe.
I didn’t know Eunice well
but she
was my client.
She used
to worry a lot
and ring
me up all the time
as you do
when
you’re getting past it.
Well, the
clock was ticking
at both
ends of the phone
I tell
you.
I would
like to use
this
opportunity
to
acquaint possible
beneficiaries
of the will
with some
of our
investment
services.
If you
are inclined
as Eunice
is – sorry, was
to hand
over her savings to us
lock,
stock and wine-box
I can
honestly say
what a
pleasure that would be
for both
of us.
We have a
number of
high-risk,
low-return schemes
for you
to consider
and I
guarantee that
we will
make more money
out of
this than
you ever
dreamed.
Just in
case you are wondering
how
successful I have been
that’s my car outside – the Volvo
I know it
looks a bit like a hearse
but it
cost a fortune.
Now, you
should also be aware
that it’s not too late for Eunice
to donate
her organs
to
medical research –
just sign
the sheet on the way out
and I
will arrange it.
I have a
number of large hosp…
I mean,
keen buyers lined up
and what
they will pay
will more
than offset
the cost
of re-opening the coffin.
Before I
finish I would like to say
its been
a pleasure
and will
be more so
once you
put $250 in the plate –
my fee
for providing you each
with this
wonderful advice.
In
February 2005, The New Zealand Consumer reported
that a lawyer charged a bereaved family for time spent in attending the funeral
of a client. The Wellington District Law Society defended the practice.
The poem is my satirical take on the sorry story.
Visit
Tuesday Poem for more poems this week.